Only a Park Bench

I'm only a park bench...
I sit underneath a big magnolia tree and I watch people and I listen to them.  Every Tuesday, a businessman (I don't know his name) comes to the park and eats lunch.  He sometimes sits quietly in his own thoughts, but sometimes he talks to himself.  He rants about his boss, wonders what his wife is making for dinner, and sometimes laughs as he retells a joke.  He seems like a really good guy.  I wish I knew his name, but I highly doubt he'll ever introduce himself to me; I'm only a park bench.

I love it when Ben and his mom come to the park.  He looks about three and they come every once and a while for picnics.  She always has her camera and is constantly taking pictures.  She'll position Ben in one way or another, make him slide down the slide four times just so she can get the perfect shot (not that he minds at all). She'll push Ben sky high on the swings as he giggles and screams "Higher Mama!" and she packs the most wonderful lunches for the two of them, things like sandwiches, cookies, lemonade, breadcrumbs to feed the birds.  In the colder weather she packs hot chocolate to warm Ben's small body. I wish my mom could've taken me on picnics and and made me hot chocolate to warm my cold slats, but I don't know my mother, because I'm only a park bench.

Kids are great, until they hit your legs with sticks! That's when I hate my job. Really, why is putting a harmless park bench through pain, funny?! The worst part is that I just have to sit here and take it. I didn't think anybody could ever understand until one day a clown, from a birthday party that had just ended, decided to join me.  He mumbled to himself about the stupid kids he just finished working with and how he wished he never had to work with children again. Of course he sighed, still frustrated but knowing he didn't mean it.  FINALLY! Someone who understood! Not that I could thank him, I'm only a park bench.

Despite the various ups and downs the the different days bring, everyday at 4:00pm sharp, I have to brace myself for the Harrises, but not for the reasons you might think.  They're an elderly couple that lives down the street and coming to the park is a part of their evening routine.  Looking at Mrs. Harris, you can tell she was stunning in her time, she's beautiful now.  And Mr. Harris might be the gentlest man I've ever seen.  They walk slowly down the sidewalk holding hands on their way to sit on the bench beneath the magnolia tree.  I don't know their past, but I can see their present and it's sweet.  It's living happily with each other no matter what it entails.  I have to brace myself every evening, not because of any antics or frustration, but because of a deep and bitter loneliness I feel as I watch lasting love walk hand in hand back to their little home until 4:00pm the next day.  Watching them smile at each other like teenagers on a first date or bicker like siblings, knowing that I would never have a chance to feel like that because I'm only a park bench.

I have to pull myself together, though.  Because once everyone is at home sleeping in their warm bed, I become the bed of a homeless man.  I don't know his name or his story.  All I know is that he needs me.  So I sit here and do my best to make my slats as comfortable and warm as I can so that he can sleep well before we both start another day, him, doing what he does, and me, well...
...I'm only a park bench.

The Circus!

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Children of all ages..." welcome to the CIRCUS!

We walked underneath the Big Top tent and it smelt like popcorn and horse crap. It was hot and running into people was inevitable, but it was exciting. There was some pre-show bustle, we got some Coke, and the show began...

The first act, the tigers and their German masters! (honestly, this one was a little sad...My mom compared the tigers to a middle-aged woman on prozac. Content, but far from natural.) The tigers calmly went through the routine with no sign of dissatisfaction.

(before the show)

The next couple acts were pretty sweet! The Trapeze Artists and Air Acrobats! I was in awe of their strength and flexibility...I was a little jealous of them actually, because I've always wanted to be able to fly and that's basically what they do for a living...

There were some goofy clown acts that caused the little children to giggle at the their funny surprises or their failed attempts of reaching the balloon. There were also other animal acts including poodles, ponies, and even a camel!

After intermission were the elephants!

Their faces were gentle and their bodies massive, but they were so graceful,  and more in sync than some human performances I've seen!

There were crazy dirt-bikers and....handstanders??? I don't know what you would call this...but it was pretty sweet!

And finally...The Human Cannonball! (a circus finale essential if you ask me..) No, he didn't fly through the top of the circus tent like they do in the cartoons, but it was still awesome!

(right before he got inside the cannon)

Once it was over, we left the Big Top thinking about all we had just experienced. The people, the animals, the talent, and how nice it was to get out from underneath the suffocating tent! It was a blast and I couldn't have had better company :) (My mom, brothers, sister, and a friend)

The Power of the Inanimate?

A big green mug.  I got it the other day while exploring goodwill.  I love the way it fits in my hand.  It's too big to fill up and heavier than most, but oddly enough, that gives me comfort.  Life is weird right now.  The days are slow, but the weeks fly by.  I have big decisions to make, seemingly on my own, and I feel very inadequate. Not just for decision making, for life in general...but my mug, it's solid.  And for a moment, I am too...

And it kinda made my day! you know, Sorta.

Foreshadowing.  I love it.  The author gives a glimpse of what's going to happen, but it's hidden. I rarely even recognize it until what was foreshadowed comes to pass.  It's almost like a little mystery that I didn't even know needed to be solved. Anyways...I love it.

So I was cleaning my room the other day, going through my closet, throwing stuff away...you know...the usual. And I ran across a list that I made when I was about 11 or 12 (that sounds about right...).  It was one of those "attributes you want in your future husband" lists that my mom made me and my sister write.  Neither of us were too enthusiastic about writing them, but we did it anyways...

I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. He's handsome, patient, forgiving, sweet, and treats me so well! (this is only a fraction of the adjectives I would use to describe him). He's my best friend.

So back to the list...First I was shocked I still had it! I opened it and read it with a grin on my face. It was pretty simple :) It had things like Makes me laugh, likes the thought of adoption, and I want to see him as handsome.  I also demonstrated my mad spelling skillz in ones like Sencetive but in a man way and apresheates me ;) The reason I was smiling though, wasn't really my list...it was the fact that the guy I've chosen to be with is everything on this list that I had made years ago (and MORE!) It was like foreshadowing in real life...and God was the Author.  And it kinda made my day!

It's been a while, huh?

Hey there,
So it's been a while.
I've missed you,
and I'm ready to let my thoughts loose.
Let GO!

Fast Shoes!

Lee-man got new shoes!  He calls them his "Fast shoes".  Every time Sam asks him to play outside he says, "Hold on.  Let me get on my fast shoes."

The smile on his face the first day he got them was priceless! He loves showing them off! :)

Things have really been but in perspective for me lately.  The other day, I was helping Mom plant some vegetables in our mini garden out back and it was beautiful outside!  It was finally warm enough to go barefoot. :)  Unfortunately, there were some thorns that were strangely attracted to my foot.  Anyway, the outside of my left foot has been really sore since then (I'm going somewhere with this, so hang in there.).  And it really got me thinking about the children who live in some of the poorest countries in the world.

The children in Liberia who run around and play in abandoned fields that were left littered with shattered glass and rusted bullet shells from a 14 year civil war.

The children in Uganda who walk miles and miles everyday to get water that may or may not make them sick.

The children whose feet now hurt from the debris in the grass they play in and the rocks and thorns they tripped over on their way to the contaminated stream, because they didn't have shoes.

The children who aren't allowed to attend school because they don't have shoes.

In Ethiopia, there are around 1 million people who are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot on volcanic soil. (I'm pretty sure my small cut isn't going to permanently disfigure my leg...)

I also wondered what their smiles would look like if they ever got a new pair of "Fast Shoes"?

Probably similar to this...

or maybe something like this...

PRICELESS!

Last year my family and I participated in this thing called "One Day Without Shoes."  Check out this video

April 8th, 2010!  going barefoot to raise awareness about the importance of shoes! :)

Also, there are these really awesome shoes called "TOMS Shoes".  When you purchase a pair of TOMS Shoes, they send a pair to a child who needs them.  How cool is that?!  I have a pair and they're the most comfortable pair of shoes I own.  Check them out @ http://www.toms.com/.

This has just been on my mind lately...

maybe just a while...

It's American Idol season and as usual, we Hickman's were enjoying our dinner while cheering for our favorite contestants and praying the really suck-ish contestants get kicked off. At a commercial Dad hopped up to go to the kitchen and as he left, he looked at Mom and began singing a song that went a little something like this...

I remember when those gasoline jeans used to make me smile.
I knew if i had the chance i'd ask you to the homecoming dance,
and maybe we'd be happy for a while...


after he took his last steps out of the room, I looked over and saw my mom sitting next to me with tears in her eyes and a beautiful smile on her face.